How to kill your chances at Fantasy Success…

Eric Hall (@BrklynSportGeek)

Anyone can write an article about who to draft and where to draft them, top 5 third basemen and who the “sleepers” are (which by the time you read it are no longer sleepers, but instead a list of people you are likely to over-reach for). This article is different because it is guaranteed to help predict the future of your fantasy baseball team. Pay close attention because you’re about to bury your chances at winning your league by drafting Jose Valverde.

1. You never have a plan – Yahoo ranks these players for you and you’re okay with that.

2. You passed on Mike Trout because you heard he gained weight.

3. Albert Pujols is no longer the #1 overall pick yet he is in the top 5 – but you just took Andrew McCutcheon at 3rd.

4. Verlander and Kershaw are elite fantasy pitchers while R.A. Dickey is not – but you took him with your second round pick ahead of Felix Hernandez and David Price anyway.

5. Steals are important; it’s an easy category to win but while you were drafting Ben Revere and Juan Pierre your competitors have B.J. Upton, Austin Jackson and Desmond Jennings improving in R, HR and RBIs while tossing in enough steals to be relevant. Therefore, refer to number 1 on this list.

6. It slipped your mind that it is no different leading the league by 5 saves or 50 saves because you will still be allocated just 10 points. Dominating any single category doesn’t earn you extra points toward a championship.

7. You panicked when you’ve realized that your top 5 second basemen were already off the board – now you get impatient and draft Daniel Murphy while still needing to fill your OF and pitching slots.

8. You’ve heard OF is very deep this year, so you sit back and wait filling out your second base and short stop spots – now you’re stuck debating who is better Colby Rasmus, Nick Markakis or  Norichika Aoki.

9. You’ve also heard that while OF is deep this year, it’s top heavy, so you burned through your own first 4 picks getting your OF spots filled and your infield and starting pitching spots are a mild improvement over the Miami Marlins.

10. You’ll plan on taking Buster Posey in the 5th round, only to have him taken 2 spots before your pick and instead of adding another starting pitcher or a closer, you took Joe Mauer. Congrats Joe on the twins!

11. You decided to stream pitchers to make up for not getting the starting pitchers you wanted – while this improves your Ks and you gain some much needed wins,  this affects your ERA and WHIP negatively.

12. You’ll ignore a category all together – accepting a 1 in any category makes your lead in wins irrelevant.

13. You’ll give up before the all star break.

14. You’ll get an early lead on your league so you put things on auto-pilot, your league mates will make trades and free agent pickups and come storming back because you were content.

15. You’ll think A.J. Burnette is someone other than A.J. Burnette – Last year was the first time in 5 years his ERA has been under 4. Don’t expect a repeat performance.

16. You’ll draft Heath Bell when Steve Cishek, Ernesto Frieri and Casey Janssen are still on the board.

17. You think Melky Cabrera will be just as good off the performance enhancers – hey, he’s currently being drafted ahead of Carlos Beltran, Carlos Gomez and Nelson Cruz, right (again, thank you Yahoo Fantasy rankings).

18. You’ll burn 4 picks looking for the next Mike Trout – Mike Trout won’t even be Mike Trout this year.

19. You didn’t know that Trevor Cahill had a sub 4.0 era and 1.29 whip, pitched better away than home and only allowed 16 HR to opposing batters in 200 innings last season – he’s also the 68th starting pitcher off the board.

21. You’ll rush out and draft Treveor Cahill in the 10th round – wait for Jaime Garcia, Phil Hughs and A.J.Burnette to get drafted before moving on Cahill.

22. You’ll forget and draft Jaime Garcia, Phil Hughs and A.J. Burnette.

23. You’ll burn your first round pick on someone who will get hurt 20 games into the season, or worse yet, who doesn’t show up this season because he’s received a brand new contract. Burned by the fantasy sports gods you’ll curse your team and give up… there is always next year, right.

24. See number 1 on this list.

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